I wanted to call this weight loss, but decided that my ultimate concern now is more than just that. Having gone from anorexic to bulimic, which I sort of still am, body image issues are constantly in my mind. I sometimes wish I could go back to the super well-disciplined mindset I had towards food and exercise when I was anorexic. Sadly, or maybe not, that seems to be an old chapter I will never return to. I now fluctuate between being perfectly “good”, with no cheat days and 2 hour cardio days, to just finding all excuses to binge and not gym. The “I’ll start tomorrow” excuse is just all too familiar for me. But right now, after a 4-day period of eating junk til I no longer taste it, and hardly exercising, I have decided to try and lose 1 kg a week for the rest of the year. As you can tell, I am still stuck in this all-or-nothing mindset. Maybe by writing about my feelings (usually boredom or the intense desire to run away) instead of eating them away, I’ll be able to break this vicious cycle.
I didn’t plan to visit Kodaikanal initially, but D, a cooking school mate whom I hadn’t seen for years, happened to be in India at the same time as me, and since he was there, I decided to make a short stopover to try and catch up with him. Sadly, our paths didn’t cross, but … More Kodaikanal and Munnar, the side of India I didn’t expect