Immer weiter

It's better to see something once, than hear about it a thousand times


I wanted to call this weight loss, but decided that my ultimate concern now is more than just that. Having gone from anorexic to bulimic, which I sort of still am, body image issues are constantly in my mind. I sometimes wish I could go back to the super well-disciplined mindset I had towards food and exercise when I was anorexic. Sadly, or maybe not, that seems to be an old chapter I will never return to. I now fluctuate between being perfectly “good”, with no cheat days and 2 hour cardio days, to just finding all excuses to binge and not gym. The “I’ll start tomorrow” excuse is just all too familiar for me. But right now, after a 4-day period of eating junk til I no longer taste it, and hardly exercising, I have decided to try and lose 1 kg a week for the rest of the year. As you can tell, I am still stuck in this all-or-nothing mindset. Maybe by writing about my feelings (usually boredom or the intense desire to run away) instead of eating them away, I’ll be able to break this vicious cycle.

The binge cycle

%d bloggers like this: