As someone who probably hasn’t been in deep romantic love before, the almost-loves and murky lust/love relations are my emotional highs and lows. I had two sort-of relationships, but I was never fully into them. Those whom I did love, I never had the guts to tell them so. And that’s why I’ve never experienced a full-fledged relationship. I hate being vulnerable and having my heart out for people to crush and reject. But at the same time, I yearn for emotional and physical intimacy. Through my travels, I’ve met so many who have helped fulfill these needs, even if it was just for a short while.

But love is not all romantic love. Platonic love, familial love and self love all count too. I am sadly, lacking in all sorts of love because of my weirdness and huge ego. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything.